The Weather

The weather is such a funny thing. In some ways I think we are all a bit obsessed with the weather. Isn't it what everyone talks about when there is nothing to say? Has anyone actually gone through their day without thinking about the weather? Maybe in San Diego where the weather is mostly constant and perfect, maybe there they don't talk about the weather. I have just lived in Ireland for the last 6 years where everyone talks about the weather constantly. I mean basically the weather is cold and rainy. I find is hysterical watching the weather on the news in Ireland. I mean to me what really is the difference between somewhat cloudy and mostly cloudy to a chance, and I mean a chance of sun, in the afternoon.

Feargal, my husband asked me to buy a thermometer for the house. WHY!!!!!!!!! I mean please, what is the difference between 92 and 94 or 86 for that matter. I can tell you the weather its hot and hot and more hot. There is a great character in the movie called "Good morning Vietnam", the radio d.j. Every morning he reports the weather not in degrees but just the same word hot hot and more hot. Monica is always letting me know what the weather is as well and I just laugh wondering if maybe I didn't know the temp, would I be as hot? It's 10 o'clock at night here and its 82 degrees (in Celsius that's 28) There is a light sweat over my body and I am trying not to move too much or I know I'll overheat. We don't have air conditioning and having a fan in this heat is like have your own mini heater. The fan just blows the hot air in your face, which I feel is a little worse then no fan. Plus the fan we have sounds like a helicopter. Its so loud it almost drowns out the bar across the way, where drunk Thai people listen to country music so that the whole neighborhood can hear as well. I'm not sure which is option is better.

When we lived in Dublin I was cold all year long and even my bones were wet. If you've never lived in a wet climate you can't even image your bones being cold but believe me your bones do get cold and wet. Now here in Thailand I have experienced the complete opposite a new sensation of actually sweating in the shower. No, you say. Believe me I never would have thought it either but yesterday as I was desperately trying to cool down, I took a cold shower and I was still sweating. I think I can safely say that my bones are now dry and warm. And I have to say after 6 years of cold, sweating in the shower only makes me laugh and be thankful I'm not cold anymore. And like yesterday, when I can't take the heat I just go over to the 7/11 and stand there in the air conditioning for 20 minutes until I'm somewhat cooled down. But sure what can you do but enjoy the journey.

OK so here goes. My first blog. A little bit nervous about posting my thoughts but like the title into the unknown I go.

So its been 3 months now since we got here to Thailand and so much has happened. From miscarriages to 30 hour train rides to near civil war and now finally to finding a house to settle into, to get down to the business we came here for "just being". I mean that was the idea a year away in Thailand with our 2 children ages 4 and 2 to learn just how to "be" with each other. What better way then in a Buddhist country to learn to "be". I look around at the kids here and they are just so calm. I see little kids 18months just sitting and hanging out with their parents calmly and I am amazed!! As laid back as my 2 year old is she has never just sat quietly with doing nothing but being. But then again I can't remember the last time I just sat back and just was. But slowly as we are here I begin to breath again and notice that my shoulders aren't as wound up as high to my ears anymore. They aren't completely relaxed but slowly slowly...

I've been learning to ride a motorbike, which I have to say is no easy task especially when you have 2 small children with you. But Aiko, my 4 year old, is amazing. She is always so encouraging and has helped me work through my fear of motorbikes. For some reason I have always had a fear of motorbikes. I think it comes from riding on snowmobiles as a kid and feeling so unsafe but in Thailand the motorbike rules and if you want to get around you have to learn to ride. So there we are, Aiko standing at the front, our little captain, me driving, Sami behind me and Monica, our amazing Au Pair at the back riding through the streets on Chiang Mai. Aiko stands there holding on to the rear view mirrors encouraging me "You can do it Mommy, don't be afraid, I believe in you." At first I really thought there was no way I could do this, it was too dangerous with me at the helm but Aiko was right it was all about Fear and if I couldn't move past this how could I show her how to move past her fears into freedom. Everyday I get more and more confident and praise myself for doing to well which helps me get better. In the past I would have critized myself for being so pathetic that I couldn't get it on the first time. This is the first step in "being" not criticizing but just experiencing and moving forward on this journey. I wonder where I would be without my kids. They are constantly a source of love and inspiration for me. Tonight as we came home on the bike, me taking the back seat, I held Sami, my 2 year old, as we watched the stars and moon from our moving motorbike and I thanked the heavens for this incredible opportunity to be here in Thailand with my family and this incredible time just to be.