Free Burma Free Yourself

Last week I went to an evening hosted by The Best Friend Library (http://www.thebestfriend.org).  This is an organization to help bring awareness for education, social welfare and action for change in Burma (Myanmar). To be honest I live about 70 km from Burma and yet I know very little about it. There are many Burmese People here in Thailand who come for work or come for freedom or come because of the threat of being murdered by the military of Burma and I am in daily contact with Burmese people. My husband and I have even have a Burmese Karen friend that lives here now, but was moved to New Zealand by the UN 9 years ago because his life was in danger. He has not spoken to his family in 9 years because if he contacts them they will be in danger of being murdered or imprisoned. But still even with this friend I still did not look further into the situation. Nothing was waking me up to see what was happening next door.


So there I was at this night of movies about Burma. I had no idea what I would find but maybe that was for the best, maybe I wouldn't have been brave enough to go see these movies. The first one was called
"Road of resistance( http://roadofresistance.com) and the other "Burma Underground"  by Natan Dotaanmar . Both these movies are documentaries about Burma from the inside.  After watching these movies I was inspired to make a change both in the lives of these people and the lives of myself and my family. I see the situation in Burma as a reflection of the fear that we all carry inside of us. The leaders of Burma act out of a place of fear. What fear?  You might ask. The leaders of Burma have everything they could want loads of money and lots of power and everything they desire, so we might think. But if they really had everything they wanted they would not need to hurt and control others. They would be content with what they had and live their merry life. But instead they are fearful and so they believe others will take from them and hurt them if they do not attack first. The build their military ever greater with more people and more weapons. They capture children as young as 10 years to fight their battles. These children are captured and forced into the army and never allowed to speak to their families, for the army knows that to keep them alone keeps them afraid and obedient. While they are in the army they are abused and filled with fear that if they do not obey orders they will be brutally murdered and the lives of their families will be in danger. These soldiers then are forced into brutally murdering others and so it goes on. Fear brings more fear. Most of the world's governments turns a blind eye to Burma because for whatever reasons it does not suit them to help Burma. I mean Burma is building Nuclear weapons, why not go in there? The world had no problem going into Iraq.

(This is me and my 2 girls raising awareness of Burma on the streets of Chiang Mai, Thailand)

But it is not helpful to blame world governments, because we are the world governments. I must look inside myself for the reflections of the outside. Because I know that what is outside me is inside me. There is an old saying that "If you want to know a man look at his friends." This is very true. If you want to know yourself look at those around you. What are the fears of your friends and family and neighbors. What makes you angry and why? If I am angry at my friends or family, really it is only anger for myself that I direct upon them so I can blame them for my unhappiness and somehow feel better about myself. So as I look to Burma I see myself. Today I find myself reflecting the fear inside me.  I can recognize and accept that I have not let go of the fear that was my childhood. I see my life full of choices made by fear.  I was raised in a house of fear. My mother was in a constant state of Fear. We grew up in a nice home, we had food on our table, we had clothes on our backs and we went to good schools. We went to camp. But inside my mother's head there was always fear and in this fear she acted out on us and so even though on the outside all was fine I felt that the world was an unsafe place. I was fearful of what she would do to me and I was fearful of telling others what was happening inside my house. I was afraid if I told others what was happening inside my house she would get angry and act out on me and leave me. There is even a very big part of me now that is afraid to write this and put it out for all to see. But watching these movies last night gave me the courage to face these fears and to recognize them so as to change them. If I am trapped in the fear of not speaking my truth because I will get hurt I will never be the person I came to this life to be. I am a grown women now it's time for me to see that instead of living through the fear of the child. It's time to stand up and make a difference, without the fear of what will happen. Rather to stand and make a difference with the knowing that light brings light.

 change the world and brought only more anger and hate and shame. Find the love in yourself and know that every person is that same piece of love.