Tuesday, May 28, 2013


I sit here tonight at my office, looking at this computer and wanting so much to finally be brave. I want to shout to the world all the things I think and mostly all the things I feel, without any reservation about what others might think or say or the criticism I might hear from my feelings or thoughts or views but I don't. I realize that I am not brave and in not being brave I have missed so many opportunities in my life. I am brave when it comes to survival, but that is instinct kicking in and making sure I don't die but real bravery is having the courage to look bad or silly or stupid or real and I do not have that courage. I am guarded and shameful of who I am. I dream to be open and then I coil back into my shell and remind myself that I can not survive alone or so I think. I have traveled to great roads and in some ways it may seem brave but for me it comes almost as second nature. My desire to see and understand the world has taken me beyond where I might have dreamed but at home in the comfort of the moment I have not been able to reach beyond my shameful feeling of myself to stand up and take what has not been offered but could be if I tried.

I have the great opportunity to have my children at incredible school called The Blue School in New York City. It is a school started by the 3 founding members of The Blue Man group. They were 3 guys who after going through the private school education found themselves lost with no where to go, but they had bravery. They were not afraid to look silly or strange or weird or crazy and so they went on to create the extremely successful Blue Man Group and beyond.

Tonight, I was fortuate enough to go to a talk by the Sir Ken Robinson, at The Blue School. I had first seen him on Ted Talks 2 years ago and that talk changed my life. I had gone from feeling stupid to realizing that I wasn't stupid but rather I had been uninspired by school and so didn't do well because I wasn't being taught in a way that was inspiring in anyway. that experience, along with many other childhood experiences kept me locked up inside, feeling I had no place and no right in this world. Seeing Sir Ken Robinson in person tonight pushed that button again to forge ahead and start to unravel that shame and remind myself, who is this invisible person I fear will find me out? Doesn't everyone feel this way at some time and how am I helping the world by hiding my light. Don't we need more light? Aren't I glad for Sirr Ken Robinson for shining his light and changing my world and the members of the Blue man group and their wives for starting this great school, when they themselves were not even educators and changing my family's life.

So tonight, I decided I could either keeping walking in the shadow of shame or stand up to feel the sun on my face and in so doing maybe inspire someone else to do the same. So I challenge all those of you who read this to do something that goes beyond your comfort level and be brave and shine your light so that we can all find our way.