Life Happens

I came here to Thailand to learn “to be” and I guess part of the process of when you come to that point in your life, when you are ready to be still, is to start to understand and see the life that you had lived until that point. Being still is not about doing nothing but rather about being quiet in yourself in order to observe yourself so that you can understand yourself. I feel blessed that I have been given and also taken this opportunity to do this in my life. I tend to see life not as a mountain but more like a mountain range. Where our lessons are learned through the valleys and the uphill hikes through the mountains. The deeper the valley the higher mountain and at the top of each mountain is the most magnificent view. These last two weeks of my life have been extremely challenging and the fact that I have been calm through out the process is a sign to me that I have come a long way. I have not been as calm as a monk but I have been breathing and looking for the light at every corner. Normally when hit with so much I break down and let my world fall apart and then berate myself afterwards for the mess I have made and now need to clean up. It is not very self-loving but that’s why I am here to learn and try again to find the love. I truly believe that we create and co-create our lives. For me I find this idea empowering and helpful in making a better life for myself, my family and others around me.

So here I am on my second leg of my 24 hour journey back to Dublin to sort my business out. My eye has swollen up, I left my 2 year old throwing up in the airport, I am missing my daughter Aiko’s 5^th birthday, I am missing my husband’s 40^th birthday, missing thanksgiving with my family and missing Hanukkah. But with all that, I find the beauty in it. I can take care of all this. We celebrated my daughters 5^th birthday a week earlier and she was none the wiser. Its not about celebrating it on the actual day but celebrating the event. As for my husband's birthday, well we just moved it to the 10^th of December when we will all be together. Hanukkah, well, we can move that as well and as for Thanksgiving, well, I have a lot to be thankful for… If I can deal with this in a positive way I can teach my children that when things happen, because they do, and that’s why we are here to learn, that you can great these happenings in a positive way and grow. And even though I am so sad to be away from my family  maybe my husband needed to learn that he can take care of the children and feel the power in that. As for me, I can learn to trust myself, because that’s why this situation came in the first place. So I look at this situation as a blessing to find my power within me. It't not what happens to you but rather how you handle what happens to you.