Closing up shop

As I sit here and try to write about the end of my lovely little children's shop, I realize how difficult it is to do that. Last Tuesday evening at 6pm I had my last customer and a minute after that, my husband and I quickly packed up the shop and threw it into a van to be put away in storage. Within an hour what had taken me over 4 years to build was over. 4 years of my life gone in an instant. Every beautiful child that had come into my shop, every lovely parent that had come in, every kind conversation was all gone and now only a memory.
I had opened that shop out of a fear of taking care of my little baby. My daughter Aiko was 5 months old and I was so worried about how I would be able to take care of her. We had no money and the only thing I really could do was sing and at the time music wasn't paying the bills. So on a trip to NYC the answer came. I would open up a children's clothing shop. I wasn't sure how but all I knew was I would. We didn't own a house, have any money in the bank but I had credit and that's what I used. I found as many credit cards as I could and borrowed what ever they would give me. I had a couple friends who helped out and painted the retail space I had found and on November 1 2006 I opened milk+cookies. My intention was to build a safe place for me, my daughter and everyone who entered the place. Over the 4 years there were so many lovely honest conversation, so many beautiful children and so many beautiful memories. I found my way in those 4 years. I entered that shop a scared little child and exited a whole adult. I am thankful for the children and adults that came to my shop. I am grateful for teaching that I learned from them.
I'm a little scared now I have to say. The road is a little scary out here. It's like flying at night time. You're excited about the flying but you're not so sure where you are going. But I guess really this is the same place I was 5 years ago wondering how I would make my life happen, so maybe I can do it again. I'll just have to believe...