Monday, October 25, 2010

A Washing Machine

Today as I woke up I could feel something was different. Normally Sami, my two year old, is the one who wakes me up. She reaches over to me and presses her hand across my face with her eyes still shut. Once she can feel the touch of my cheek she slowly opens her eyes and either sticks her fingers in my eyes to get me to wake up or she gently puts her arm around my neck and cuddles closer. But today it was I that awoke first and not with that feeling I usually have that if the girls are still sleeping that that's my cue to take another doze, but rather with a sense of my own today. I looked out the window and and felt the sun on my skin. it's amazing how sunny days can give you such a sense of power. Down the stairs to be greeted by my loving husband making breakfast. Now this day was really going great. Wait!... No coffee! No worries, I'll just jump on my motorbike and away I went. I was feeling so good that I went to the local Starbucks (yes even in Thailand they have Starbucks) with an agenda. I was going to treat myself to an Italian espresso maker. The one we had, had been broken for ages and today I was feeling good about spending money. So I walked in grabbed my coffee maker and with no feeling of worry, slapped down my money and took my Italian coffee maker home with me.  Now back home with a fresh coffee in hand it was time to admire my major purchase from the day before. Now this was no small feat my purchase, it took a lot of strength. But after 4 months of doing our laundry down the street in the laundry machines on the road that barely wash and only have cold water it was time to and make the purchase. I had just done another wash and there was food still on the clothes. OK that was it. I had had it. I grabbed Aiko and went across the moat to the massive electrical store Siam TV. There in the super store filled with  air conditioning, I sat Aiko in front of the flat screen t.v.s and away I went to washing machine section. Without a clue about these things, I decided to throw caution to the wind. Whoever helped me first would get my business. I figured no machine could be so bad. They had to get us through at least a year or so. Without a girlfriend to confer with I made the purchase. I signed off on the credit card and grabbed Aiko. I was now the proud owner of a washing machine. I am sure there are others who will read this who will feel the same. Big appliances, cars and homes are landmark life phases. As I left the building, I heard the voice. The worry voice. "How will you pay for this? Where will you find the money?" I was worried but I was a big girl now I had to just get on with it instead of worrying about the money I had to put my energy into making something happen to bring in the money. Its just a shift in consciousness. 
So this morning Aiko, Sami and I watched the clothes go round and round. The sense of accomplishment was incredible. My clothes would now be clean and I could do my laundry any time of day and without the pressure to be there when the cycle was finished. No one would take my clothes out and leave them on the machine. But best of all, I had taken one step closer to taking care of me. I'm a great traveler but when it comes to taking care of me, I usually fall pretty short to basic survival. But today, today was a new day and a new sense of me.

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