Thursday, November 4, 2010

Thankful thoughts

Sometimes it seems that the most amazing realizations come at the most bizarre times or situations. Today I was lucky enough to have one of those realizations. I walked into the bathroom at school and saw a woman, who must have just come in a few moments before me, open one of the bathroom stalls, close the door again quickly and look round to me with a look of disgust and then walked into another vacant stall. For a moment I took in this information and stood there waiting for another free stall, but luckily a rational thought popped into my head, "take a look for yourself". I mean how bad could it really be? I mean at the end of the day what makes my shit better then anyone else's. It doesn't freak me out to flush my own waste down the toilet why should it freak me out to flush someone else's? I mean really if you want to break it down it's just food that didn't get used by the body.
So there I was like a brave warrior waiting for the worst to happen and as I opened the door I was only to find a bit of toilet paper that needed flushing. O.K. so no big deal, I can flush the toilet and get on with what I need to do. But what came to me after what pure light. I started to think about why it was so easy for me to just flush the toilet and know it wasn't a big deal. I realized it was something wonderful that my mom had taught me. She never got freaked out about those things. She just got on with it and never blamed someone for leaving it that way or really cared. All she knew was she needed to use the toilet and if you had to flush someone else's waste, well so be it. Big deal. So this made me think about all the other wonderful things she had taught me that help my life flow. Things I don't even really think about why I am that.  But I could certainly tell you why I am the way I am about all the bad and sad things in my life. I mean I could go on for days and years about what my mother didn't do and what she did that were hurtful but where would that get me. I've been there already and it doesn't make my life better it actually makes it worse because I get caught up in the lack which only brings me more pain. I can't change what has happened but I can change what will be. Today I decided that I would write out a list of wonderful and positive things that my mother taught me. Because there are many and I need to be thankful for them. Because if I can do that with her I can do that for myself and in turn I can do that for everyone else in my life and in my life in general. If you want to change the world change change your view of your life and watch it unfold like a beautiful flower. Have you ever heard anyone complain about a flower?

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